Parental Adjustments

8 months in and I'm still in the adjustment phase of becoming a parent. I'm quickly coming to the conclusion I may have to get used to it here.

Through a series of extensive trial and error experiments, I created what I thought was a completely attainable to-do list for this weekend. Let me map out the Herculean efforts I had in mind:

1. Going to The Container Store to get some fabulous solution to fix my kitchen pantry 
2. Finish assembling the guest bedroom bed - this task consisted of screwing together 12 drawers
3. Order a photo and a frame 
4. Organize under the kitchen and bathroom sinks so my child doesn't accidentally poison herself

4 items. F.O.U.R.

Pre-child, this list would've taken me two hours - including travel time - to get through. Post-child? 

Monday morning, I took stock of my situation:

1. Mission complete! We had two dirty diapers, a lost container of rice puffs and 1 massive meltdown (by The Bean; The Container Store is my happy place) to show for it. All the things we bought are still in the car.  
2. 1 drawer fully assembled. 1 drawer abandoned mid-screw. Still.
3. I just did this 10 minutes ago because I didn't remember about needing to do this until I started writing this post. Done.
4. Yeah...not so much.

Everything gets in the way. 

Nap times mean no travel and no hammering of nails into drawers (we now know for a fact this will wake The Bean up and she will be displeased). Bringing out the computer or iAnything means wrestling a technology addicted mongrel and his daughter from the keyboard. And doing anything in the house requires at least one free adult to watch this:

Why yes, this is my secret squirrel spy photo of Cadie pulling herself into a standing position. Something she does every free minute she has because sitting is for suckers.

We are in trouble here at the D-Zo household. The child refuses to crawl. Let's face it, it's demeaning. But she spends her days with an 11-month old who is tearing around the house like an Ethiopian marathoner. Guess what The Bean wants to do? At 8 months...

Now accepting resumes for a personal assistant to handle all my chores.

I can handle paying the bills, Mama.