Triage Nurse: So, what's going on with this little cutie?
Mrs. D-Zo: She went all Linda Blair on me.
Triage Nurse: Aw, poor thing. OK...so what else?
Mrs. D-Zo: Green puke isn't enough?
Triage Nurse: Are there any other symptoms or changes in her behavior? (The Bean coyly grins at the nurse and giggles.) She seems pretty happy.
Mrs. D-Zo: Well, that's a change. She's normally a miserable git...she's also been lethargic.
Triage Nurse: Oh. That's not good. She's been spacey and can't focus on you?
Mrs. D-Zo: No...I would've said that if I meant that. She's lethargic. Sleeping. A lot.
Triage Nurse: That's not what lethargic means. It means not active physically or mentally, but awake.
Mrs. D-Zo: (Under breath) Hate. You.
Triage Nurse: So...you brought me a happy baby that sleeps?
Since I hate to act like a typical first-time mom, having it thrown in my face so bluntly and accurately was a big blow to my ego. To be fair, I called the pediatrician before hauling The Bean to the emergency room and they were all "Bring her in. STAT!"
But in the interest of full disclosure, we called from the emergency room parking lot.
New post in which I don't discuss vomit coming soon.
3 comments:
Well, glad she's okay. If it helps, I called 911 when Ben was 3 weeks old because I thought he wasn't breathing. The 911 operator was like, "Uh, we can come, but we hear him screaming in the background, she he must be breathing". He also turned out to be fine, just had some wicked gas. Poor babies!!!
No, Witchey-Triage-Nurse, I brought you a baby that is puking GREEN and in my infinite-first-time-mom-peanut-brain believe THAT to be VERY bad considering it’s NOT in the index of my baby health care book, so I strongly suggest YOU get the doctor before I go all Linda Blair on YOU.
P.S. We've all been there. First time moms (and second time moms!), freaken scared out of our minds! There is nothing worse than a medical person with no empathy. Curse them all! ;-)
I have seen my fair share of snarky nurses. They suck! Glad it was nothing serious, tho. Nothing like wishing your own baby was really sick just to prove some mean old prune-faced nurse wrong. Bring on the mommy guilt!
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