* This post is not suitable for children, my parents, men, or people who may have to look at me in daily life. It contains brief nudity and highly upsetting (to me) topics.
The Setting: A hotel room after a long day of being pregnant. Our main characters are getting ready for bed at the completely understandable hour of 8PM.
The scene opens with Michael laying in bed and Jen about to put on her pajamas.
Jen unleashes her much-discussed breasts from their containment compartments.
Michael: Whoa! Look at those things. Are they getting bigger?
Jen: Whimpers Yes. Can we drop it? I'm over these things. They are ridiculous. They're not even attractive anymore.
Michael: No! They're great! But they are getting bigger...like...all of them...the parts...the...
Jen: THE NIPPLES!?!?! YES! IT'S ALL GETTING BIGGER AND DARKER AND AWFULLER.
Michael: ....
Jen: Apparently it's so the baby has an easier time finding the nipple when they are breastfeeding. They have very poor eyesight when they're first born.
Our baby will be all set. The Bean will be able to find my nipples from outer space.
Never look at me again.
Michael: ....
....
....
....
Are they going to go back to normal after?
Jen: I hate you.
And I don't know.
2 comments:
This made me laugh out loud....mostly because I'm having the same issues. Last time David caught a glimpse of the nips, all he said was "Whoa."
Terrible.
I'm sorry but this made me laugh too. In fact I'm still chuckling. I think we are ALL going through it. I'm crossing my fingers that they go back to normal.
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