Sunday, January 1, 2012

The Wrap Up So We Can All Move On with Life

What I Did for Christmas Break
by The Bean D-Zo

As I much suspected, my true birth parents sold me to gypsies when I was born. It's the only explanation for why the people currently responsible for raising me spent 40 hours (an entire work week) over the past 7 days IN THE CAR.

The gypsy parents' itinerary included 4 states.

Did I mention the 7 days part already? Oh, I did? SEVEN DAYS.
Exhibit A (To be used in my presentation to child protective services.)

They're called an airplane and frequent flier miles. Embrace them.

Christmas Eve and Christmas Day were spent in the car...and Houston apparently, but that part went too quick to remember. But I'm sure I was there because I got this cool ball that makes tons of great noises and plays songs (which incidentally is missing now...I need to ask the gypsy woman about that since I saw it last with her as she was heading to the tool shed).

My two best friends; Daddy and this ball.
The day after Christmas was my six-month birthday and you're never going to guess what we did. You're right! We spent more time in the car. Have I told you this story already?

After twelve billionty hours in the car, I decided enough was enough. I needed a vacation.

Oh my God, you guys. You've been holding out on me.

The beach.

The damn gypsy man never let me go. He must've known I was planning my great escape.
Please ignore the blue stripe on my diaper. I got excited when I saw the beach.
Let go gypsy man...I'm outta here.

We spent an entire day out of the car and it was pure bliss.

Morning coffee overlooking the ocean.
Serious conversations about my life goals with Aunt Charlotte.
I amazed everyone with my mad magic skills.
And some much needed R & R.
Happy New Year! My resolution? To make enough money to retire in a beach house by my third birthday.

And to never get in a car again.

5 comments:

Nicole J @ Pampers and Pumps said...

She is so beautiful Jen!

Missy said...

Those gypsy parents are crazy cooping up a cute thing like you in the car for 7 days! But your ability to wield a heavy coffee mug? Actually proves that you are the child of a circus strong man, clearly! ;)

C (Kid Things) said...

Such great pictures! You all deserve a nap after that much time in a car together.

No Drama Mama said...

Dang, your gypsy parents are way braver than I am. May you enjoy many more beach trips, hopefully via airplane!

humanmama said...

Ooh, terrible holidays and travel with children. So much fun. You need to just tell everyone "next year? OUR HOUSE." Or maybe that's worse. What about "OUR town," meaning it's really open-ended and they might want to check into a hotel on Christmas eve? So sorry, Bean, it's not your parents that made you travel. It's your parents' GUILT for potentially not seeing your grandparents. :)