The Best Of

If you're new here, you might want to try some of these enlightening and heart-warming stories of I want you to read my funniest stuff first so you stick around and put up with my infrequent lapses into unfunny.

While I was pregnant:
Maybe the Antenna's Broken
Where I pretend to be excited about nothing at all.

A Retraction
Where I nearly lose my life in an epic battle with constipation.

Wherein One Realizes She's Pregnant
Where a pair of maternity pants makes me question all of my life decisions.

Sleep Is the New Black
Where I go bat shit crazy from lack of sleep and the knowledge that I'm completely unprepared to be a mother.

Are You Doing It Right
Where I discuss Oprah and how putting on shoes has ruined the world.

An Open Letter
Where I spew hatred at a man who had the nerve to get in between me and ice cream.

Of The Sick and Twisted Variety
Where Michael and I offend my mother, make obscure Star Wars references and I provide you with a glimpse inside my womb.

Where even the simplest of tasks become feats of endurance and ingenuity.

The change from mommy-to-be to just another mommy-blogger:
The Birth Story Series
Where The Bean joins our family.

Parenthood: The Movie
Where I provide you with a glimpse into the first two months of parenthood.

Almost As Cool As The Bean
Where I give up motherhood to become a full-time ninja.

Dogs and Babies
Where I outline the best way to take a walk with your baby and your dogs.