So, here I am today (sans makeup and any sort of hair styling--don't judge, you're lucky I got out of my pajamas):
Yes, I believe I have officially set the world record for largest boobs in the history of ever.
I am 36 weeks and some odd days into this pregnancy which means I am days away from being considered full-term. Good thing that's not a wildly horrifying and fear-inducing thought and doesn't set off the crazy monsters who live in my head.
So, I'm just a touch pregnant.
For the most part, there are pretty simple workarounds for dealing with the enormous growths taking over my (or what used to be my) body. Need to put on shoes? Easy enough, if you sit down and swing your legs up to the side. Drop something on the floor? No worries, it can live there until the baby is born.
But there is one activity which I MUST do every week and the workaround leaves a lot to be desired. So I welcome all thoughts and suggestions.
Each and every doctor's appointment from the onset of this pregnancy includes peeing in a cup.
Which is no problem when you don't have an unmovable mass of squirmy child sitting on your lap.
But that's no longer the case. Now my arms no longer can make the trip to collect this weekly specimen using the usual path.
Not a big problem because you can just go in from the side. Except. Well, it's a little difficult to see what's going on down below these days. I want you to go to the bathroom and close your eyes and attempt to pee into a Dixie cup.
How's that cup-holding hand doing?
So, you have to get creative on how to make this all work. And can I tell you, that creative + pregnancy does not equal pretty?
I'm turning to you interwebs. How do we perform this feat without (1) ending up with pee hands, (2) needing to perform advanced yoga moves, or (3) endangering myself or The Bean?