Monday, March 12, 2012

The World, She is A-Ending

I would like to send a shout out to the mother-loving god of snails and baked beans.

The child slept through the night. And by "the child," I mean my child. And by "through the night," I mean, entirely...from 6:30 PM to 6:00 AM with nary a peep, whimper or blood-curdling scream.

The Bean's most recent *phase* has been waking up at 3:30 AM to demand a little nip of a bottle. Because who doesn't want a warm little tasty treat in the middle of the night? Except it means someone has to wake up and prepare said bottle and bring it to Her Highness and someone has to change Her Majesty's diaper since she's filled her overnight diaper to the brim from all the nips of milk.

And if you think that someone is my husband, well, I laugh in your general direction.

I'd like to interrupt this blog post to formally withdraw my love of Dr. Weissbluth, the traitor. I trusted you sir. Considering The Bean is now sleeping in her own room which is noticeably not in my bed, I have to admit your techniques work. BUT...when this new phase of waking up at 3 AM started and I consulted you for help, you took pages 263 and 264 of your book, made an origami knife and stabbed me in the back.

And I quote, "...babies may still awaken once or twice in the middle of the night. I consider this behavior normal, natural, and not changeworthy - if it's for a brief feeding and not prolonged playtime."

Not. Helpful.

Back to your regularly scheduled post...

So when I woke up and rolled over to check the clock and saw 5:30 AM glaring its fluorescent green hate lasers into my eyeballs, I flew from the bed to The Bean's room since she obviously was dead.

Just as I was about to turn the knob to her room, I checked the monitor and she rolled over.

And by "rolled over," I mean she wasn't dead.

We may all survive this after all.


Anonymous said...

Don't forget as your husband, I have to nudge you and say the baby needs you. I wake up too. It's almost so much I can't just roll over and go back to sleep. But I perservere.

Mrs. D-Zo said...

You are truly a saint and I'm thankful for every day we have together.

Shelley said...

Your posts always crack me up! My girl still only sleeps with me at night. She also nurses half asleep laying down every couple hours still. Ugh.

Mrs. D-Zo said...

Shelley - It was a one night fluke, though she is a lot better than she used to be. Hang in there!

humanmama said...

I'm not sure which was more entertaining: your post or your husband's steadfast perseverance. It pretty much sucks to be a woman, that's for sure. Sigh. Sorry, daughters.