Thursday, February 3, 2011


  • Time it takes to walk from New York to California. And back...and then back to California again.
  • Roughly 2 college semesters
  • 200 hundred days longer than it takes to go around the world by train and boat (according to the book)
  • The number of days from conception to birth

I am one of precisely 7 pregnant woman in the world...ever...who is not utterly enthralled and amazed with every second of being pregnant.

Don't get me wrong, I have my moments of "This is pretty neat" and "Holy crap, I'm pregnant," but most of the time the running sentiments are "Yep, still pregnant" or "I wonder what I should have for lunch today."

Look, you try maintaining unbridled excitement and positive thinking for 280 days straight and tell me how that works out for you.

Here's where I went wrong. I went to some of those mommy-to-be e-board/forum discussions and immediately felt a return of the morning sickness dry heaves. It is page after page of "OMG pregnancy is so amazing and wondrous," "Hooray! We finished the nursery" and "Rate my baby name choices"--and this is only from the women who are due in July.

While, I'm far outnumbered...I'm still convinced they are the crazy ones.

Sure; pregnancy is amazing. I'm still amazed I threw up for 3 months straight and am still alive. I am also amazed that my body is fine with not pooping for weeks on end. And it is definitely amazing that I am able to stand upright after my boobs quadrupled in size.

I get it. It's a new experience for us first-time moms-to-be and you still can't tell the difference between gas and the baby moving (you're in week 8; you are cooing over gas bubbles), but I'd be totally willing to bypass the whole pregnancy thing and just get to the having a kid part. Mainly because I'd be able to have wine, sushi and blue cheese again.

And don't start in with the "enjoy it while you can" advice...but that rant is a post for another sleepless night.


Lauren said...

I must have been in that group of 7. Benefiber. Try it.

danax said...

I've got some stool softener over here - should have given it to you last night:-)