Tuesday, February 8, 2011

How I Know I'm Ready to Be a Mother

At some point in your pregnancy, you inevitably hear "Oh, just you wait for motherhood...it's a whole different ballgame."

Oh yeah? I'm pretty sure I'm ready.

In my teens and 20s, I was convinced one was ready to be a mother if she could make Saran Wrap work properly (which I've mastered in case you were wondering). And while I still stand by that defining marker, I realize there may be one or two additional skills you might need.

Turns out, I have accumulated lots of skills I believe are immediately transferable to mothering.

Shall we...
  • Clean cat vomit at least twice a week

  • Pick up poop from three dogs, twice a day (and one is a Great Pyrenees...so he counts as four dogs by himself)

  • Am woken up at least three times a night by said Great Pyrenees "guarding" the house--hey, you never know when that garbage can that's been outside the window for 3 years may suddenly decide to get cheeky

  • Woken up at least five times a night by the cat who wants to lay in between my legs, then on my stomach, then by my head, then under my arms, then...

  • Wrestle wriggling animals in an attempt to clean their feet, faces and, unfortunately, even their asses

  • Break apart fights over food, toys, treats and who gets to cuddle mama

  • Clean the entire house. Every day. Because it's trashed each and every day with mud, slobber, puke, and, well I don't know what that is, but it shouldn't be on the floor

  • Take care of three dogs all day, every day, who leave me flat the second Daddy gets home

So, yeah...I think I've a got a pretty good idea what it takes to be a mother.

And because you stuck through this whole post, you get a prize! The first belly bump photo!!! Michael finally convinced me that I was moving out of the "just bloated" stage into the actual bump stage.

19 Weeks:


Staci said...

Well, the kids won't totally leave you flat every time Daddy comes home. When they're sick, guess who doesn't exist? that's right, Daddy.

Jason Rhoades said...

You didn't even mention "Married to Michael" as one of your attributes. From the stories I hear about Teen-Deszo, you better hope you're having a girl.

Kristin said...

YAY!!! Beautiful baby bump!!! Hope you're feeling good and yes, you sound ready to be a mom. And Staci is right too!

Lauren said...

ut-oh. I can't use saran wrap. Do I have to turn in my kids? Nice bump.

danax said...

I Luuuurve that I got to rub the belly bump (for all the rubbin' I received:-) Looking good mama and how you handled P-man's spit up - you're totally ready!

Jen Petrone said...

@Staci-True. And if they're anything like my husband they will be wanting Mama's FULL attention when they're sick.

@Jason-That just seemed too easy to throw Mike in the mix. And yes...the stories from his teens years are enough to frighten anyone into celibacy.

@Kristin-Thanks! I'm pleased it's finally starting to show a bit. I owe you an email!

@Lauren-Only if you want to turn them in.

@Dana-You have free reign to rub all you want. You earned it after putting up with me.