Oh yeah? I'm pretty sure I'm ready.
In my teens and 20s, I was convinced one was ready to be a mother if she could make Saran Wrap work properly (which I've mastered in case you were wondering). And while I still stand by that defining marker, I realize there may be one or two additional skills you might need.
Turns out, I have accumulated lots of skills I believe are immediately transferable to mothering.
- Clean cat vomit at least twice a week
- Pick up poop from three dogs, twice a day (and one is a Great Pyrenees...so he counts as four dogs by himself)
- Am woken up at least three times a night by said Great Pyrenees "guarding" the house--hey, you never know when that garbage can that's been outside the window for 3 years may suddenly decide to get cheeky
- Woken up at least five times a night by the cat who wants to lay in between my legs, then on my stomach, then by my head, then under my arms, then...
- Wrestle wriggling animals in an attempt to clean their feet, faces and, unfortunately, even their asses
- Break apart fights over food, toys, treats and who gets to cuddle mama
- Clean the entire house. Every day. Because it's trashed each and every day with mud, slobber, puke, and, well I don't know what that is, but it shouldn't be on the floor
- Take care of three dogs all day, every day, who leave me flat the second Daddy gets home
So, yeah...I think I've a got a pretty good idea what it takes to be a mother.
And because you stuck through this whole post, you get a prize! The first belly bump photo!!! Michael finally convinced me that I was moving out of the "just bloated" stage into the actual bump stage.