Monday, December 12, 2011

Why It's Difficult To Be Me

Thanks to a slight case of OCD, I have very clear definitions of right and wrong on certain hot-button issues.

For instance, whether counting stairs as you climb them increases your likelihood of not falling, if insisting food should be separated by color before eating it is appropriate and, perhaps most importantly, which way the toilet paper hangs.

Most people have a preference on toilet paper orientation; I have a compulsive need for the roll to hang over, not under. OhMyGodNotUnderTheWorldWillBurstIntoFlamesIfTheToiletPaperHangsUnder.

I have been known to adjust how the toilet paper is hanging in other people's homes. I'm sure they would thank me for righting this clear wrong; if only they knew I was the mysterious toilet paper adjuster - I tend to not broadcast my random acts of toilet paper kindness and usually perform these good deeds when there are multiple people around who could be blamed applauded for promoting proper toilet paper hanging awareness.

We go through a lot of toilet paper at our house these days. I work from home, we have a nanny here watching The Bean most days and Michael doesn't believe in tissues and he's had a cold for about a year and half now.

The other day we were nearing the end of the roll and I didn't want the nanny to have to navigate her way around The Closet Which Holds Everything Ever to find the toilet paper. So I pulled out a roll and put it in the bathroom in case we ran out.

I have defined a new level of crazy.

Naturally, the nanny hung the toilet paper under. After my seizure, I simply got up and left the bathroom without changing the toilet paper's orientation.

Because I didn't want to offend her. I mean, you know how often people are offended by that sort of thing. It's right up there with dropping F-bombs, discussing religion over dinner and racism.


Missy said...

I'm a toilet paper over kind of girl too. It makes me crazy when it's under. CRAZY.

Beth said...

I too am a bit obsessed with the toilet paper orientation. I have also been know to re-orient other people's toilet paper. BUT...I'm 'under' all the way. I hope this doesn't cause a deep rift between us : )

mama coop said...

Haha! This was the start of many arguments in my house when we my husband and I first started living together! He would take all the rolls off and leave them next to or behind the toilet. It drove me absolutely nuts so now I have a basket besides the toilet with his "special tp" and I keep mine on the roll. Its amazing what something like TP can do to us all lol! I found you through Nicole's blog and I also blog over at Hope you check it out sometime! Look forward to reading more your hilarious!

Anonymous said...

if you own a cat, it's gotta be 'under' not 'over' for the TP, or it will all be on the floor and won't matter anyway ;-)
...but as far as your pic goes, it doesn't say much since you don't know which side the toilets on :/