Il Padrone

Did you know your sleeping position can say a lot about the type of person you are?

In order to provide you with the most reliable and up-to-date thinking on this topic, I spent whole minutes on a single website doing some research. This one (in case you want to be an expert on the subject as I now am).

Here's the chart from the page:

I, myself, am a fetal sleeper. Which, according to this very scientific study means I'm tough, but sensitive and shy, but eventually outgoing. They were really covering their bases when they wrote up this description.

However, I began to question the integrity and authority of this research when I couldn't find the sleeping positions of the other two humans with whom I share my life.

Luckily, this article has made me an expert in all things sleep personality-related. So I can give you some additional guidance. Let's start with Michael:

This sleeping position, known as The Burrow, says a person is warm-hearted and warm-blooded -- and can breathe through their feet. But mainly, it indicates this individual is not open for business between the hours of 11 PM and 6 AM. So if a baby cries, a dog pukes, a murderer breaks into the house, and your bedmate is a Burrower...you should be ready to get on as best you can.

And The Bean? What does her sleep position say?

I run shit around here.