Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Wearing Flowers in My Hair

It's been awhile since I've gone around tearing new assholes for those who stomp on my dreams of pregnancy (and now parental) bliss. You remember the ice cream guy, right?

Shall we...?

Oh yes, we shall.


Dear Haters,

I thought once I popped out The Bean, I would be free of you "Just you wait; once the baby comes along you'll see how it really is" idiots. Alas, you apparently have a little book full of phrases to imply your superiority, cast thinly veiled judgments and just generally piss me off.

"Just you wait" has been replaced with "Oh, that won't last" and...oh STILL use "Just you wait!!" Now it's followed by "Just you wait until she [insert some major milestone here]."

You pry into potentially hot-button issues for the sole purpose of whipping out one of your trusty phrases. Breastfeeding, co-sleeping, day run through the list until you hit the one where you think you have the most leverage.

Admittedly, I am an easy target. Not only am I a first-time mom with lofty visions of competence, but I also have been known for my dedication to the local, sustainable movement which means I walked into this parenting thing with the intention to use cloth diapers.

Boy, did THAT get you revved up.

" say that now...just wait..."

"Oh, we thought about that too. You'll change your mind."

And, of course, there were those of you who just laughed.

Well guess who's cloth diapering?

You're never going to guess.


Before you say anything...prepare to shut the f*ck up.

Let's start with the obvious awesomeness I'm doing for the environment by not throwing away 10 diapers a day for the next 913 days (that's nearly 10,000 diapers for you mathematically challenged folks). And before you load your mouth with the unoriginal water waste from washing said diapers tripe; we are using eco-friendly appliances. The polar bears love me.

Me - 1; You - 0

I'm also saving a buttload (pun totally intended) of money. When The Bean first arrived, her little tush didn't fit into the cloth diapers. So, yes, we used disposables since I couldn't find a baby pooper-scooper. Diapers are ridiculous-expensive. And do you know what's sitting in my closet now? An economy-sized box of disposable diapers too small for my child.

The cloth diapers? One size fits all. They have snaps to adjust the sizing so they grow with your child. No more boxes of unusable diapers.

Me - 2; You - 0

Finally, you know what sentence doesn't come out of my mouth ever? "Oh my God. We're out of diapers. And it's 4 in the morning. Now we need to run to the ghetto CVS where we may get shot...but we need those diapers!!!"

This still happens with dog food, toilet paper and emergency Reese's Peanut Butter Cup needs...but not diapers.

Me - 3; You - 0

Second finally, they work just as well as disposables (well, we're still training Michael on how to properly get them on The Bean without poop disasters ensuing) and are no more effort on my part. In fact, they may be less effort. I'm far more apt to throw a load of diapers into the washing machine which is inside my house than take a bag of dirty, disposable diapers outside to the garbage can.

Me - 5,003; You - 0

So for all you haters out there who lectured me about how hard cloth diapering would be and dropped the ever famous "just you wait...," I have one thing to say to you.

Mrs. D-Zo


Amy E said...

Really love this.

Nicole J @ Knocked Up said...

Hahaha the best is the people who don't even have kids giving you advice! I plan on switching to cloth diapers once B's poo is solid, who knows I may make the switch before then.

Mrs. D-Zo said...

Working through fixing commenting.

Nicole (this is about the 800th time I've typed this out now - loving Blogger today): I hear this stage is easier than when poop is solid and stinky...who knows.

I have an attachment for the toilet to rinse the poop diapers before throwing them in the wash. We've had no issues yet.

Darcie said...

Good for you on the cloth! We've been using them since Maclin's cord fell off and I love them. No problems at all so far, despite all our doubters!