Triage Nurse: So, what's going on with this little cutie?
Mrs. D-Zo: She went all Linda Blair on me.
Triage Nurse: Aw, poor thing. OK...so what else?
Mrs. D-Zo: Green puke isn't enough?
Triage Nurse: Are there any other symptoms or changes in her behavior? (The Bean coyly grins at the nurse and giggles.) She seems pretty happy.
Mrs. D-Zo: Well, that's a change. She's normally a miserable git...she's also been lethargic.
Triage Nurse: Oh. That's not good. She's been spacey and can't focus on you?
Mrs. D-Zo: No...I would've said that if I meant that. She's lethargic. Sleeping. A lot.
Triage Nurse: That's not what lethargic means. It means not active physically or mentally, but awake.
Mrs. D-Zo: (Under breath) Hate. You.
Triage Nurse: So...you brought me a happy baby that sleeps?
Since I hate to act like a typical first-time mom, having it thrown in my face so bluntly and accurately was a big blow to my ego. To be fair, I called the pediatrician before hauling The Bean to the emergency room and they were all "Bring her in. STAT!"
But in the interest of full disclosure, we called from the emergency room parking lot.
New post in which I don't discuss vomit coming soon.