Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Ma'am, Your Pregnancy is Showing

Whenever my husband travels for work I am driven by a strong desire to do everything ever. Somehow in my warped pea brain, I interpret his absence as adding an additional 50 hours to a single day. Since I don't have to make dinner for two, I must have enough time to re-tile the bathroom and install a closet organizing system like I've been meaning to get around to for the past three years.

I had a number of lofty goals for this weekend. And I started off great guns. Actually that's a complete and total lie. You can't trust me. By Friday night the only thing I had accomplished was setting a new world record for fastest ingestion of a pulled pork sandwich.

Saturday had a lot of potential to be a productive day. But instead I lost my mind and walked 5 miles in the park near my house and nearly had to call in rescue services to come get me.

"Hi, yes. I'm 6 months pregnant and thought it would be a good idea to do a 5-mile walk today since it was sunny...yes I realize there is a giant papaya inside me sitting on my hips in such a way that makes walking for more than 2 miles extraordinarily difficult and eventually painful...yes, I also realize that my feet are swelling with each and every step I take...no, I didn't bring any water with me...look, I'm afraid I may have to live under this bush if you don't get here with a wheelbarrow STAT and roll me home."

Unfortunately, I had forgotten my phone so I walked home going negative 3 miles per hour and whimpering the whole way.

If you're keeping score at home, it's To-Do List: 0 and Being Crazy Pregnant Lady: 2

Sunday brought with it Daylight Savings Time, a hangover from my death-defying trek in the park, a birthday brunch for a good friend and then an utter meltdown from lack of sleep.

Seriously, being pregnant is a lot like being a three-year old. It's all go, go, go; I want to have fun like the regular kids (adults); right up until you hit a brick wall at 100 mph and have a temper tantrum because you weren't bright enough to take a nap, eat a balanced meal and pace yourself.

Here we are Tuesday morning and the only thing on my to-do list I managed to get done was wash the floors.

We're calling it a successful weekend and moving on.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I'm the same way. I went for a walk and 2 hours later I ended up at my sister's house. I had her drive me home because at that point I didn't have another 2 hours of walking in me. As for the whole "YEAH LET'S CLEAN" thing, I think it is programed into pregnant women. Welcome to nesting :)