Her new trick is acting like a lunatic at a mental asylum with padded walls--so she'll fit in well around here--and flinging herself and all her body parts against my womb. This is a fun addition to her previous repertoire of tricks which consisted solely of beating her heart (while appreciated, is fairly boring for us spectators).
For those who want to know about baby kicks, the best description I can give is: it feels exactly how I would imagine it would feel like if I swallowed a live fish and it was flopping around in my stomach.
Being a typical woman, she's been toying with Michael up until now. She'd be all practicing her break dancing moves and I'd go running to find Michael so he could feel her. He'd put his hand on my stomach in anticipation and she'd play dead.
I found this wildly funny. Michael did not.
But by last night I had it. He was going to feel this baby move because all the websites say he should be feeling her by now and we were not going to be behind schedule goddammit.
She played her 'torment Dad' game and kicked and squirmed right until he put his hand on my stomach. And I was not standing for this behavior another minute.
I got a big glass of ice water and downed that sucker as quick as I could to send a cold, arctic blast down into my warm baby growing facility.
Mom wins. (Hey, it's not child abuse until she's born, right?)
That jump started her and Michael got to feel her kick/punch/head butt/whatever it is she's doing in there.
It was this totally super sentimental, moving moment where suddenly everything in the room is bathed in God lights and angels sang and we were the perfect family unit. Our lives were forever changed and we're whole.
Not at all.What really happened:
Jen: (feeling the third kick in a row) Ugh, did you feel THAT one?????
Michael: (jumping off the bed) Oh gross! Ewww. You have aliens inside of you. Stay on your side of the bed and don't touch me with your alien body...until after she's born. (Sneering in disgust at me and my stomach.)
Yep. That sounds much more like us.
And look! A special treat since I put make-up on today...a new bump (25 weeks):