This past week I felt compelled to check in on my Things to Do Before Baby Arrives checklist. Next week will be the official start of my third trimester and, people, that's when shit gets real.
The first item on the list that caught my attention was square away maternity leave, fill out insurance forms, blah, blah, blah. Mainly because, I have to tell you, I cannot wait to be on maternity leave.
You always hear people say, "Oh, I'd have no idea what to do with myself all day. I'd go stir-crazy within a week. I just have to have a job."
That is so not me.
I'm pretty sure I'd make a fabulous unemployed person. I'd never complain. I'd never be bored. Or at least, I'd never complain about being bored. Yeah, I know. There's the whole money thing. Details.
I call my office (I work remotely) and ask the admin to send me all the forms and things I need to know about maternity leave.
Later that day my inbox shows this subject line: Your STD
Uh...I know my boss isn't thrilled I'm pregnant, but this seems a bit extreme. Pregnancy hardly qualifies as a disease; though technically the sexually-transmitted part is correct.
General Note to the World: STD is not an acceptable shortening for Short-Term Disability.