I am also living proof that at some point in evolution there was a third human response to threats. Flight, fight or stand there stupidly and drool while you are eaten alive.
I'd like to say this was the first time this little dance has occurred, but alas, he probably does this to me once a week.
But unbeknown to him, he has now equipped me to be practically immune to his sly attacks on my unsuspecting bathroom-going self.
So I was ready for him.
What really happened:
You're lucky, my friend. Very lucky.
Just know...a ninja never rests.