Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Vigilance is Important for Parents - and Ninjas

People would not describe me as having a strong backbone. I am, in fact, a little jumpy. The list of things known to scare me out of my pants is embarrassingly long and includes (but is in no way limited to): horror movies, dark alleys, snakes, aggressive looking bugs, friendly looking bugs, rustling leaves, balloons and my own reflection.

I am also living proof that at some point in evolution there was a third human response to threats. Flight, fight or stand there stupidly and drool while you are eaten alive.

Nobody gets more enjoyment out of these reactions than my husband. I'm the little sister he never had.

Last week, the following series of events occurred:

I'd like to say this was the first time this little dance has occurred, but alas, he probably does this to me once a week.

But unbeknown to him, he has now equipped me to be practically immune to his sly attacks on my unsuspecting bathroom-going self.

That's right. The ninja shoes.

When I'm wearing my ninja shoes, which happens to be always, I take my role very seriously. One of the tenets of ninja-hood (that I made up) is: Be Vigilant.

Ninjas are never taken by surprise. Not even when leaving the confines of the bathroom into the presumable safety of their house.

Last night, during our bedtime preparations nature called.

My paranoid vigilant self knew Michael would be outside the door ready to attack.

So I was ready for him.

What really happened:

You're lucky, my friend. Very lucky.

Just know...a ninja never rests.


MissSeattle70 said...

I had to just laugh and laugh at this. This is SO ME!!! Although my husband knows that he doesn't even have to say anything to make me scream, but sometimes when he is feeling really ornery, he will holler down the laundry chute when he knows I am down there or jump out at me and yell "booga booga booga"! but yea, I sreamed because when I came out of the bathroom the other day the kids had thrown a red blanket over the bottom half of the dog. Clearly, it's my dog, half covered in a blanket but it still blew my little circuts out! You are not alone sister!

Mrs. D-Zo said...

Hah, love this story. Pretty sure we're allowed to do bodily harm to the husbands after their anctics.